“Oh my God, did you call me baby?
Maybe (oh), is that okay?
Yeah, it’s cool, I liked it
Cool (ah-ha-ha)“

Be Around Me – Will Joseph Cook

Welcome back my blog babies,

Recently there’s been a lot of fucks, cunts and anger up here on Kiss Of Beth’s and with Valentines Day just around the corner, I thought I’d write something sweet & loving to the person that showed me what true love is and that I deserve to be loved that way.

The total stunner you’ll see in the picture below (apart from me) is my sweet cheese of a human, Gabriel/Gabs/Tree/Noodle/Stinkface/Mr Bumpy.

I’m a lucky girl, I am aware. That’s a stun photo of us at ALEXISONFIRE in Southampton, we both got food poisoning from the place we had dinner and lordy lord, we were VERY sick shortly after this was taken.

We met in the most traditional ways, that all couples meet these days.. Tinder. That’s right, with nearly 4 years under our belt on the 22nd Feb, we are the Tinder success story that everyone looks for. He super liked me.. I’m old and didn’t know what that meant because I’d only been on the app for 3 hours. I speed ran Tinder and met the love of my life. That’s pretty cool. From the first message it’s clear that we had a connection that needed to be explored. Within a few messages I gave him my number and constant texting, we agreed to our first date to happen just four days after we matched.

Now the first date, that was a cluster fuck of hilarious. We went for a drive because it was the tail end of Covid and everything was still shut, we were clearly both nervous and just making small chit chat, until I remembered that I had my laptop and asked him if he would like to watch the 90’s classic Babe (yes… the fucking film with the talking pig in it)

So we pulled over in a lay-by to watch the film, because tail end of Covid… no where to go… and we had barely made it to the end of the singing mice opening credits before a man tried to get into the back of my car, dick out, ready to wank his little heart out. What we hadn’t realised is we had pulled over into a dogging lay-by and because I’d turned my lights off… it meant hop on in. I’ve never thrown my laptop in the back, made sure the doors were locked and driven off quicker in my life.

Almost 4 years later, that first date clearly was worth it, even for the fucking hilarious story we can recount at our wedding one day. From that first date however, we couldn’t be separated; seeing each other day after day and falling asleep on the phone together every night (still something we do if we have to spend an evening apart).

Incredibly annoyingly, he removed any walls and barriers I had up in such a short time. His warm and loving nature melted me into a new form, a somewhat more feminine and relaxed version of my self, long forgotten in the years of trauma I had previously dealt with. It’s really strange going from on edge around someone constantly, to being beyond calm. He knows everything about me, without judgement he accepted me. He knows every part of my story, even things I kept hidden from my closest friends. I have no shame with him.

When I say this man treats me like a queen, even on my bad days. In all our time together we have had 3 arguments, T H R E E. It’s wild, I have my feelings heard, understood and even respected. This man literally picked the bar up off the floor and put it back where it should be.

I don’t think he will ever truly know how much he means to me or how much I love him because I truly don’t think the words exists. I don’t think there is a string of words in human language that covers it. He truly has my heart and I am forever his girl.

He makes our house a home, filled with laughter and love. He has slowly filled all the broken cracks of my heart with gold and shown me that even with cracks and break, I am still beautiful and loveable. I’ve learned, even if love for me was a damaged feeling before, loving the right person makes loving easy. He does, make loving him easy. He has done from the moment he got out of my car saying “ok, I love you.. bye” leaving me in a confused, silence; trying to work out if he had just said I love you for the first time. I loved him too and I told him that very swiftly (after checking I had heard him right) and I haven’t stopped loving him since.

He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. From music to work, this man will get up early to drive me to the station so he knows I am there safe or listen to my “overly creative” ideas to see if it’s something people would actually enjoy. He will come to every single one of the Bitchin’ Hour shows to support me, carry my heavy ass drum kit down or up flights of stairs, cheer me on and break every single cymbal stand I own.

So, Gabirel, my sweet boy, my true love, thank you for being the person who taught me how to love again. Thank you for showing me how I deserved to be loved and the fact that I deserve to be loved by you. I couldn’t be happier knowing you are the first thing I see when I wake and the last thing I see before I sleep. I used to love partying and being away from home, now I spend my time counting down the hours until I get to see your beautiful face. You’re the best part of every day, you’re my penguin and you’re my noodle. It’s also really fucking annoying that I’ve become the spare human to both of our cat daughters.

Ok, I love you, never bye xoxoxoxox