Let’s talk about sex.

Welcome back.

Today I want to talk about sex (baby, let’s talk about you and me… – for those of you that have no idea what I am referencing there, I’ll leave a YouTube link at the bottom)

So at some point most of us will in fact “bump uglies” with another person. When you’re young you expect sinking the sausage to be this beautiful, magical thing as it’s been portrayed in movies. A thing where the lighting is perfect, theres not a single bit of chubby thigh, arm or belly on show and after you have perfect make up and hair, looking better than you ever have before. THAT IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST LIES. Cock snuggling is messy and sweaty. Your foundation is going to budge and your mascara is going to run down your face. Every part of you is going to be shown, but hell they know what they got themselves into falling into bed with you, be proud of your body. They want to be there, they want to be all up in or on you. Be confident, confidence is sexy and you’re going to get laid hon.

I do want to cover casual sex, because actually women *still* get chastised for having it. If you’re sensitive I would suggest looking away now because I’m going to say something that may shock you. Women like sex. I know, we are all shocked, it’s amazing, women… liking sex! For years women have been called sluts, whores, cheap, easy just for enjoying sex and having casual sex. It’s about time the world moved on, there are so many worse things in the world than a woman, wanting, participating and enjoying casual sex.

Why is a woman walking home in the morning after a night out called a walk of shame? There is nothing shameful about it, from now on it shall only be known as a stride of pride. Walking down the road with your heels in your hand sweetie, you stride with pride. Walking down the street with your make up a mess and your hair extensions hanging out your clutch, you stride with pride honey. Walking home with your arms across your chest because your shirt / dress is super low and you couldn’t find your bra when you were sneaking out of which ever bed you were in, you stride with pride sugar.

You make all the dick and vag appointment’s you need honey; you let your freaky inner sexy flag fly boo!

Now we have to talk about porn. Let’s not lie about it, we have all used porn to, erm help out, but we need to remember it’s not real life. Studies show that watching too much porn leads to low self esteem and bad sex. It distorts the viewers image of sex, body image and sexual performance. We have to remember that these performers are made up to perfectly, edited to look perfect during the editing process and these scenes are shot over and over again, over days and weeks. We cannot compare the length of our sex sessions to a porn which is made and filmed to be over an hour long and feature 92 positions and an underwater Houdini escape trick whilst gargling on 15 dicks, I mean it’s a skill but one that’s not accurate in day to day sex.

Studies also show that porn makes your partner less desirable to you. This was hugely due to the fact that, when picking the film you are going to use to get your rocks off, you pick the women or men you find most attractive.It would seem these differ greatly from the partner you have chosen in real life.

Could you imagine finding out your partner finds you less desirable than a person on a screen. Finding out they would rather watch the same porn over and over again then sleep with you, or imagining the more desirable actress whilst they are playing hide the sausage with you. Look, if you have someone that wants to be with you and you want to be with them, stop comparing them to a standard they can’t uphold or one that is unobtainable simply.

Now, sometimes it’s nice to get dolled up, put that £50 thong on, bang those heels on and do that sexy sexy thing. For me, it’s all about a t-shirt and a pair of pants, like I always felt way pretty with a messy bun, baggy t-shirt and a pair of pants; because I’m comfy and I am just being me. We should always been confident in how we look and if that £50 thong makes you feel like you’re the shit, then you put that thong on or those boxers or what not.

One thing that needs to be said about sex is simply, it doesn’t have to mean anything. People look at sex like it always has to be this huge gesture, that has feelings and meanings and attachments but it really doesn’t. You can have some pointless, meaningless sex and walk away and never think of that person again, sometimes you just need to get some and it doesn’t matter who it’s with.

There’s also something for every taste, you like being tied up? Cool, so do a lot of other people. You like feet? Cool, there are people out there for you.  You like dressing like a pony and being paraded about? There is someone out there for you boo. It doesn’t matter your taste, there is something to fit everyone’s kinks.

Sometimes you meet someone you just have that vibe with, the vibe where you look at them and you know sooner or later you guys are gunna bang. You just know, it’s that feeling of that electric vibe (no pun intended) between you. It may take hours, days, weeks or even months or years, but you both know it’s going to happen. That instant attraction where all you want to do is get freaky. There is nothing wrong with this at all, in fact you can almost bet your ass that it will be one of the best bangs of your life. Sometimes you end up with that person, who knows you might even marry them and good for you, enjoy that mind blowing sexy time for the rest of your life hon, but it could just be one night or a few nights, just enjoy yourself sweetie and enjoy the ride (pun intended)

Now I guess if we are discussing sex, we should discuss losing your virginity.

Now out of the people I’ve spoken with, most popped their cherries during a drunken encounter at a party or with their first proper partner. Some people haven’t had sex and you know what, good for you, do what is right for you and don’t let anyone pressure you otherwise.

I was lucky with my cherry popping; I lost my V plates to someone I actually cared about in a comfortable setting and more jokes than should of likely been made during such an occasion. He didn’t pressure me and it was my choice, so cheers to him for making it the best possible experience it could of been.

To finish up here’s the Youtube link to the bad pun I made earlier;

 

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