Today I wanted to cover something that I personally deal with and combat on the daily. Today we are talking about anxiety.
But what is anxiety? According to the NHS website, anxiety is as follows;
“Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.”
But there is so much that comes with anxiety that people don’t talk about. It’s not just the worry or fear. There’s the over thinking, the headaches, the constant need for reassurance, the insomnia, the rapid heart beat and that’s just to name a few.
Part of my personal anxiety is overthinking absolutely everything. If you and I have had an argument, you can damn skippy be assured I have dissected everything you said to me and it can still run though my head years later.
An example of this is an argument I had with a close friend. He dropped something in particular on me and then walked out my house. I have thought about that comment, to the point where I couldn’t sleep properly for weeks. I have over analysed it, torn it apart, cried over it, got angry about it. I have never asked him if it was a meant comment or if it was a throw away moment in fear of that same argument rearing it’s ugly head again.
Another fun thing is the constant need for a reassurance. Dear god, I fucking hate this about myself. It’s one of the worst things about me without a doubt. The fact I can’t be friends without someone without having to check 45 millions times if we cool and they still down to hang out and chill. The fact that if I argue with them, my stomach feels like it’s about to rip it’s self out alien style. The closer I am with that person the worse that feeling is. I then go back to over analysing and not being able to sleep until everything is fixed.
Anxiety is difficult. It can be crippling. When you’re trying to handle a life that includes anxiety. I know my friends struggle with my anxiety. They have learnt my triggers and my telltale signs and do their best to help calm it.
Another really fun part of anxiety is the sleep issues. I find myself awake for hours. Which then means I don’t have good sleep for the next day, upping my anxiety and then we are stuck in a cycle of my anxiety getting worse.
During lockdown my anxiety has been peak, I know many others are struggling with this too. Sitting within the same four walls leaves you time to be in your head. Do your daily exercise walks, get out the house and change your scenery. Trust me, it will help.
For those struggling with anxiety, you can check out the mind website here. Mind are a charity that assist with mental health and supporting people with their mental health battles. This is such a worth while charity. You can donate to Mind here.
I’ll finish by saying if anyone needs to chat, you can reach out to me here. My emails are open and I’d really like to talk to you.