Recently I was asked to write about my feelings about when you have the feels for someone, but you don’t tell them… the secret feels.
It happens to everyone, hanging out with someone, texting someone and being friends with someone can sometimes lead to the dreaded feelings.
This then leads on to the long looks then looking away incase they catch you, the moon eyes, the smiling when they text you, when they tag you in something, you know all the things you do when you’re into someone.
I am not talking about that electric buzz of attraction, the one where you both look at each other and you’re pretty sure you’re going to end up in one of your beds, at some point, either drunk or sober.
I’m talking about the feeling of liking someone, waking up and they are the first thing you think of, the last thing that crosses your mind before you go to bed, your heart pounds when you see them, you find yourself looking at things while you’re out and thinking how much they would like that or how you should go there together.
But what do you do when you never say anything in fear of losing someone? When you’re worried your admittance will cost you a friendship.
I have always believed in the whole “fuck it” take. I’m the type of person who will take the bull by the horns and just tell you.
For my own sanity and heart, I have always thought that if I have that strong of a feeling for someone, they deserve to know. They deserve to know they are loved.
One of three things can happen;
- They are also into you. Yay.
- They aren’t into you but friendship is important and they don’t want anything to change
- They over react and cut you out thus proving they weren’t worthy of your love
They are into you. YAY.
Well, that was easy. They are into you too. Ask them on a date, do some cute shit, date for a while, get engaged, get married, have babies, buy a house – do all that romantic bollocks. Good for you, I am routing for your love.
They aren’t into you but you still get friendship
Look, you gave it a go and they aren’t into it. That’s ok, they still want you in their lives and you want them in yours. You can take some time for your heart too heal and move on. You get to keep your pal and thats a positive.
They over react
Then they weren’t worth your friendship or your love. If they kick off they aren’t worth shit honey. If they can’t appreciate the fact you’ve been honest about how you feel, then did they actually care about how you feel in the day to day? Let your heart heal and move on, they weren’t worth it anyway.
If you’re reading this and you have the feels, reach out to that person. Do it now. You can use the message below, click send and just let them know. Only if you’re feeling it and feeling brave.
COPY PASTE SEND THIS SHIT IF YOU FEEL BRAVE AND CONFIDENT
“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I have feelings for you. I don’t expect anything from this. I say this without hope or agenda. I understand completely if you don’t feel the same, but I just wanted to let you know.”
What do you have to loose? Bite the bullet. You got this boo.
If they are in a relationship and you wanna tell them, I have always believed that you should tell them – what they do after that is their choice; however after speaking to a few friends they feel that admitting it might cross a line. This is personal preference to be quite honest, if you want to tell them, tell them – if you don’t feel its appropriate or your not comfortable with telling them; then that’s ok too.
What if you’ve got all these feels but you don’t wanna tell them or you’re too shy? Then you gotta swallow it and move on. Find a way too set your heart free, because pining after someone wont do you any good. Plus if Catfish has taught me anything, you’ll end up catfishing them and end up with Nev knocking on your door, though I’d totally watch that.
What about if you have those secret feels for someone you have already dated? It may have ended badly, you may have been too young or maybe even it was the wrong time. Sometimes you can’t drop those feelings for the person you once dated and what are you supposed to do? I would say go for it. Unless you cheated or did something super shitty, give it a go. You had something once; why wouldn’t or couldn’t you have something again? People sometimes still have those feelings even if you, as hard as you try – push them aside. So what you didn’t work the first time, does that mean you can’t work a second? Things and people change. It can take weeks, months or years, but people change and maybe just maybe, you were meant to be.
SO what are my thought’s on the secret feels, honey, if you got them – tell them. That’s what I honestly feel. You can’t go through life never saying or acting on how you feel. If you feel strong enough – do it! Tell them! Because you could have these feelings for a week or even 10 years, do the best thing for you and say something, don’t live your life in regret.
Until next time!