Hi there, welcome back.
If you haven’t guessed, this piece is about being bi-sexual. What is the definition of bisexuality? Bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behaviour toward both males and females, or romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity (this is the wiki definition)
Let’s start with some honesty. I am bi-sexual. That’s right; you heard it here “first”, I – Bethany Chapell like both men and women.
I know, we are all shocked as hell. I’m sure you’re wondering why I have put first in quotation marks and thats because for a lot of people, this wont be the first time you’ve heard about this. I did take a few years but I am pretty open with my sexuality these days. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I’ve known I was into both men and women from when I was 14 and, after admitting it to my closest friends, I finally built up the courage to tell my birth giver.
Now, it’s not a conversation I ever planned on having and I was nervous. I wasn’t sure how I was going to even start this chat with her, could I simply say, hey mum, I also like girls… ok bye and run as quick as possible? I just went for it, “Mum I have something to tell you, I like girls too” and my mother simply responded with “I know” and that was that. Nothing more, nothing less. I still haven’t actually told my dad, I think he worked it out but we never actually had that chat, so if you’re reading this dad, here’s your confirmation.
Now, as expected, when you admit your bi-sexual you get a lot of jokes at your expense. You’re greedy. You’re like Hovis, you like the best of both worlds – this one was always my personal favourite. Someone’s sexuality isn’t a joke, it was hard enough for me to come to terms with it and feel confident enough to tell people, please don’t now mock me because I am open with it. Now I had a lot of this from the people I love and the people who love me, I know it was meant in jest, with love and as a form of understanding but honestly, please stop now.
One thing I was sick of hearing when I was younger was, you’re just confused, it’s a phase, you’ll get over it. This drove me mad. Sorry, but the fact I am attracted to both men and women is not a phase. I am certainly not confused about it. What is there to be confused about? I like men and I like women, if you think I am confused, I hope that has settled it.
The thing I get now I’ve chosen to be with a man? So you’re straight now? Nope, not straight, still like women and men, just happened to fall in love with a guy. Just because I met a man that I feel for, does not change my sexual orientation.
I don’t know about other women out there who are bi but what I cannot get enough of is guys telling me how hot it is and it must mean I am up for a threesome. Seriously keep asking. It’s great. Honestly my favourite thing. Ok, so I’m being very sarcastic there, let’s put it like this; first off I don’t care if you find it “hot” and second, what? Just because I like both sexes doesn’t mean I am instantly up for a threesome, you reprobate. I’ve also been openly told by the same guys that I am not actually bisexual, I just do it to get attention from guys. I’m pretty sure that’s not true pal, I’m pretty sure my natural charm and crackin’ rack does that for me without the fact I am bisexual.
In the past, I’ve been told by the people I dated that I am more likely to cheat on them because I have “more choice”. Excuse me, just because I like both DOES NOT MEAN I AM GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU, are you kidding me? Seriously. Do not question my character purely for my sexual preference you asshat. Safe to say they were swiftly removed as my partner.
Which do you like more, men or women? This question is constant. Sorry but you wouldn’t ask a straight person, just how straight they are. Why do I need to quantify my sexuality? Just accept it’s both would you?
You’re just transitioning into being gay, is something I got a lot also. 13 year’s later I’m pretty sure I am not. It’s full time and it’s here to stay.
One thing I will never get over, is women saying to me, a fellow woman, “oh my god, don’t look at me, you’re going to try and sleep with me”. Love, I’m really glad you think that highly of yourself and trust me, I do not want to sleep with you. Just because I like girls, does not mean I like EVERY girl and I certainly don’t wish to bang you sweetpea.
Sadly being bisexual leaves you chastised from both the gay and straight communities. Too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight. Let’s just remember LGBT+, the B is for bisexual, it’s in the name and let me finish by saying, I don’t need to make up my mind on which gender I like, I have already made up my mind, I am bisexual and that’s awesome.