I won’t apologise for being me

“Young blood, came to start a riot
Don’t care what your old man say
Young blood, heaven hate a sinner
But we gonna raise hell anyway”

Raise Hell – Dorothy

Welcome back.

Thanks for sticking with me while I took some time off to re-group. I’m now going to explain why I felt like I had to.

Recently someone who should support me no matter what, tore into this blog and my character. Calling me and my writing fake. Calling me and my writing attention seeking and assuring me that everyone agreed. They even went so far as to question if my mental health problem was even real and if I was doing it just for reads.

This shook me and my confidence in my blog. I wont lie about it. I doubted myself and my pieces. I sat here and cried about the fact that someone who should love and cherish me could tear down the one thing I actually think I am good at.

Let me start by saying thank you for all your kind messages  while I was taking some time. The amount of you that reached out to me to make sure I was ok was heart warming. I’m glad after I explained the full situation, you understood why I took some time to re-group.

Now let me say this…

I am here.

I am loud.

I am here to take up space and make my presence known.

THANK U, NEXT.

I will continue to write what the fuck I want to write. I will continue to put out the pieces that I want to put out, including about my mental health. I am no longer going to conform to the standard that is set for me by this person or any other person.

I will continue to write the pieces that I feel can help people and I will continue to write about music and bands like I have a clue what I am doing. I will continue to do what ever the fuck I want to do in this world, because its become evident to me over the past week that my writing actually helps people.

So I will not back down, I will not let this person or others affect me in such a way; ever again. They do not deserve space in my hurricane life. I will continue to raise hell in this cyclone I call life. I am the eye of the fucking storm.

I have a whole set of people who believe in me, support me and want the best for me. I have a support network who will sit me down and tell me the truth when I need to hear it. I have a harem of people who will tell me when I step out of line. I don’t need yes men, I’ve got enough people who have my back and drag me back when I cross a line.

You don’t like the pieces I write? That’s ok, don’t fucking read them! Not everyone is going to like what I do but fuck it, I don’t write for them. I write for me.

I will never apologise for being myself. I will never apologise for my good days and my bad. I will never apologise for who I am and how I do things. I am here to make noise. I’m a shotgun in a fucking fist fight.

I was advised to take a “good hard look at the woman in the mirror” and you know what I did just that. This bitch bomb as fuck. She has a good job, amazing people around her, a global blog, photography talents AND is in a fucking punk band. What more could the woman in the mirror want? You know what, this cold hard woman I see, is actually really fucking loved… by the right people.

So let me finish this by saying;

I’m Bethany fucking Chapell. Who the fuck are you? 

 

 

 

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